How can you help someone who is spending their days in the icu waiting room, or keeping vigil at a bedside? How do you support someone who is grieving? Here are things that were helpful to us over the past 10 days:
- Practical items:
- Chapstick (hospitals are dry places)
- Water bottles (again with the dryness and the crying)
- Hand lotion (my knuckles were raw from washing my hands so much the first day)
- Easy puzzles, coloring books, short story books (sitting in the waiting room can be boring and lonely, but our brains aren’t up for much, so simple distractions that can be easily picked up and then set aside are great)
- Healthy snacks (I missed meals several days because we were waiting on tests and then when I was hungry I was starving. Simple things on hand are so helpful.)
- Tissues packets (there was never a tissue at hand when I needed one)
- Ways to show up:
- Ask what people need and listen (Be careful how you ask- how are you or what do you need can be hard – try what support would be helpful right now?)
- Do not expect any responses and say so in your messages
- Know that there are things people can’t even name going on so be understanding of their emotions and reactions that seem out of character or unexpected.
- Remember that people grieve in lots of different ways and allow space for response that are different than how you might express grief.
My mom was a lovely lady and walking the past 10 days with her was a heartbreaking gift. Thank you for all your support and love to our family.
-Eilidh
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