Last week when I was officiating a wedding I was rocking my cool new clergy collar dress. I have to admit my hair has become grayer and grayer over the last few years. So I definitely look like I’m in my 40’s. As I was meeting with the dj to get my mic set up he asked me if this was my first wedding. I was stunned and maybe a little bit offended. I mean I was wearing a collar and I am no spring chicken. I said, not I’ve done a lot of weddings. Maybe in a slightly cold tone. But then I ca
ught myself. What was going on here? Rather than be annoyed I decided to be curious. So I asked do you have a lot of folks who are first time officiants? And the dj told me stories. Some of which were about the outfits people wear to officiate! I had assumed I was sending signals that anyone would be able to read. But this was only true in my world. Other people with different experiences see things in other ways and it was an important reminder.
I live in the world of the church, literally since we have dinner church in our home. And sometimes I and we in the church communicate in ways that make sense to us, but it turns out what we are saying is lost in translation! It helps to be curious to ask how we are coming across and when we stumble across something that strikes us odd to explore that rather than to get defensive. It’s amazing the connections and lessons we can find when we chose curiosity!
-Eilidh
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