One of the great dances we do as pastors is around relationships. When we are in a place with a people we love and guide. We stand in hospital rooms, we encourage people as they come out, we carry secrets not spoken to others. We celebrate together, share life together, and grow together. And then we as pastors move on, to a new church, a new people who need us to love and guide them. A new pastor comes to our old community and does the work of loving and guiding. But it can be hard to let go. We are so intimately connected to our people in this work. The love doesn’t end, but the relationship changes drastically.
I did the funerals of both of Grace’s husbands, but I wasn’t there to companion her as she died or to help her family celebrate her life at her funeral. I baptized Charlotte, but not her brother. I helped Virgil feel accepted and safe as he went into treatment, but wasn’t there to celebrate his success. And that is okay, because others did that work. Others were there to love and to share, and the thing is there were pastors before me, who officiated at Grace’s first wedding, who baptized all her kids. I didn’t marry Charlotte’s parents nor welcome Virgil in membership.
It is easy to get attached, especially when a pastor is with someone in a huge moment, or when we click on a personal level, but the thing is I am not God, I am not the church. All I can do is companion people for this season where I am present here and trust that God is showing up through me to minister to folks. None of us is the end all be all expression of God at work in relationship, and for that I give thanks!
-Eilidh
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