I am what my husband calls an aggressive friend maker. I have no shame when it comes to talking to strangers and probably sharing with them my entire life story. It’s how I met my in-laws when I let them into the building in grad school. When we moved to Portland I eavesdropped on some moms on the playground who had third graders too and just wormed my way right on in to their conversation. I love people and I find them interesting. I’m also a fan of asking people questions, sometimes really personal ones. It’s part of being a pastor and of loving people. Sometimes asking someone about their grief or about their hopes can lead to incredible healing conversations.
I am sharing this today not because you need to be like me, but because so often we get stuck in our ruts and our patterns and we don’t see the people around us. Or we see them but are kept distant by our societal norms. If we really want to be people of God then we have to be about people. We need to see them and engage as we can.
And when we do engage we find amazing things. Our daughter and I attended a book festival in South Carolina in November. I of course immediately made friends with the people in line. One of them was a woman my age with teen age daughters. We stood in line together for over 90 minutes and in that time I found out she was a labor and delivery nurse in a small community east of Charleston where the festival was held. So of course I asked her about the abortion laws in South Carolina and what she through about them and how they affected her job. I had already told her I was a pastor so we had to do some safety checks before we got to the heart of the matter. We, two women from opposite sides of the country, with two very different jobs, learned a lot from each other that day. We even found out that we had a ton in common. We didn’t have to be afraid of a big subject and having different ideas. We would probably never see one another again so why not just put it all out there? It really was an amazing and beautiful conversation for both of us. We ran into each other again later in the day and decided to take a selfie as line besties!
Not everyone is like me and that’s a very good thing, but all it takes to connect with another person is to ask someone hey what are you doing this weekend? Or how are you doing in this cold? Or what do you think about the latest show or song or cultural event? I’ve had long conversations with store clerks about Taylor Swift. I’ve been fascinated by the agenda of a housless man I encountered on a walk near the School District HQ. In all of these folks I catch a glimpse of God and I hope that they find the same in me.
So go and know them and see what wondrous things you just might find.
-Eilidh
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