I am a fat person. I am 5’9” and weigh 240 pounds. Find my BMI and it will tell you that I am obese. This means that I am supposed to hate myself and spend tons of time and attention on altering my body. But the thing is I love my body. I love my double chin and my flabby belly. I love the way I look in the mirror. I love that my body is strong enough for me to do all the things I do.

This is not a common attitude.  Talk to enough women and before long the conversation will drift to what we need to stop eating or start doing to make our bodies acceptable.  This can be a complex subject because so often weight is equated with health.  The reality for me is that all of my health problems have nothing to do with my weight. My spine and heart are congenital issues. My allergies don’t increase with the size of my waistline. I am aware of long-term health risks, and that’s why I keep active; walk, do yoga. I’m not saying other people shouldn’t care for their bodies.  What I am saying is that caring for my body is my business and I’m doing just fine, thank you.  You can call my doctor if you would like to check on that.

What I have come to realize the more and more I embrace an incarnate Jesus, present in the here and now, is that my body is sacred.  My body is part of who I am, not just this thing that I need to control. It is a part of me that is good and wonderful. Not too long ago someone told me that I need to lose weight so that I can be taken seriously. Please. If you dismiss me because I am a fat person then you underestimate me and my jiggly thighs at your peril. Being fat has nothing to do with how smart or capable I am.

I am writing about this today because we are entering the season of Lent.  A time when people often give something up as a spiritual discipline.  Before I came to love my body I would often choose a food to give up for Lent, with the goal of losing weight.  I’ve given up fried foods, soda, desserts, not because these sacrifices brought me closer to God, but because my focus on making my body culturally acceptable was more powerful than my faith practice. Now I realize that it was a waste of my time to spend so much energy and resources on hating my body, on trying to make it something different that fits a beauty standard that has nothing to do with my health. These days I would rather use my time, energy, and resources on loving my community and following God’s call for my life. We’re really all just dust anyway. So this Lent I’m taking on a journaling practice and I’m giving up complaining about others.

Maybe if you struggle like I used to you could use Lent as a time to love yourself, to celebrate all the wonderful and good things about your corporeal life.

Whatever you take on or give up this Lenten season may it bring you closer to the God who loves you, no matter what.

-Eilidh