Recently at our moms’ coffee gathering, we were talking about what church is and why people attend worship. You see for several of the ladies moms’ coffee is their church. For others, it is like a small group and they attend worship elsewhere. We got to talking about what we meant by church and what we valued in churchy gatherings. What we came to was that for each of us it was a little different. For some its about the ritual and structure that builds a framework for making sense of life. For others, it is the sense of community and connection that defines a church gathering. All throughout the conversation, there was this sense that it was an intentional decision to participate in something that in some way was life-giving, be that through relationship, intellectual growth, service to others, or spiritual nourishment and ritual.
This conversation was wonderful for me to really develop and articulate what it is I believe about church and to have to put into words what I understand about the gatherings of the SouthEast Portland Parish. Whether it is traditional worship at Trinity, Brunch and Dinner at SFC or moms’ coffee each of these gatherings is church to me. They are all really different but what I realized is that all of them serve the same purpose in my understandings of faith development and practice.
These gatherings are places where people come to be renewed, restored, and reconciled. They are places of healing and forgiveness, and spiritual and intellectual growth. I believe that we are called to practice a lifestyle of grace, forgiveness, generosity, compassion, love, and justice. None of that is easy, so we gather together to be strengthened, challenged, held accountable, supported, and affirmed so that we might go and do the hard stuff of living kindom life.
Traditional Worship at Trinity is the most formal of our gatherings. We have all the bells and whistles of what most people think of as church; The organ, choir, pews, a pulpit. I preach sermons from a manuscript I polish and edit. Monthly we have healing prayer and anointing with oil. We also share communion once a month. The offering plate is passed and we recite liturgy together. We’re not as formal or high church as what folks might experience with some Lutherans or Catholics, but there is no doubt this is traditional church. This gathering is a place of intellectual growth. It’s familiar to people with an experience of traditional church. Folks come to connect with one another through shared prayers and fellowship after worship. Theology is internalized through singing hymns and songs. The gift of contemplation and centering happens during our music times and moments of silent prayer. We wrestle with big themes through the whole experience of the gathering from the spoken prayers to the songs and the sermon. This is a space where spiritual renewal and growth happens.
Brunch & Dinner are structured in their own special way that has developed over the life of the gatherings and will continue to evolve. As people gather the house is pretty chaotic. Folks play the piano, chat, and put the finishing touches on their dishes. The kids are playing. We add more spaces as people come in. We finally all make it to the table and take a breath. We light a candle to remind us that Christ is present with us at the meal while we sing our opening prayer. Then we each introduce the food we’ve brought, listing out allergens as a means of welcome to all. We pass to the right, mostly. When our plates are full we go around, introduce ourselves and respond to the question, “How is it with your soul?” The responses vary from in-depth sharing of struggles and joys to more simple replies. This is a place where we hold one another accountable, walk alongside struggles, and celebrate life. At this point we get into the theme of the day, be it scripture, something interactive, a reading, or a video. Lately, we’ve been reading and discussing scripture. The conversation is free-flowing, we get off topic, and as we do the kids and our children’s person roam in and out of the dining room. As we hear another’s perspective our own views and theologies are expanded. Once we’re done exploring the theme for the week, or it’s 6:45, whichever comes first, we transition to communion. We don’t follow the traditional litany, but use a prayer book with different language each week to help people experience the ritual in a more accessible way. Someone volunteers to serve the community, empowering everyone to have a chance at servant leadership. Then we eat dessert and talk about the ways we can be present to each other in the coming week. This allows us to pray for each other and also to show up in meaningful ways in each other’s lives. Finally, we head to the living room space to sing together. This shared experience reinforces theology and bonds us together. Then people don’t leave. They stay and chat or clear the table or wash dishes. It’s a holy expression of community and connection. This is a space where renewal and growth happens.
Moms’ Coffee is the least formal and structured of our gatherings. A bunch of us show up at a local coffee shop and talk. This last week we talked about if we believed people were inherently good, the ethical dilemmas of being disaster prepared when your neighbors are not, what feet really meant in the Old Testament, our thoughts on guns, what it means to be a woman in today’s world, and spiders (I’m pro, everyone else is con.) This is a space where each person brings whatever it is they are thinking about or struggling with or celebrating and we share in that. Our conversations range from the sublime to the silly and are often very colorful. We’ve said hard things to each other and disagreed. I’ve seen my parenting with new eyes and learned about different perspectives on everything from faith to abortion. This is a space where renewal and growth happens.
As the Parish continues to grow I know that we’ll keep creating new church gatherings, where leaders will make space for renewal and growth. This is church.
-Eilidh
P.S. Some of my seminary graduate friends are going to ding my use of the word church in some places in this piece. After all, like the old Sunday School song goes the church is the people. And while that is technically and theologically correct that’s not how people, including me, actually talk about church. So I’m using church as sort of a catchall for this experience of gatherings and connection. You can take up my infraction with the church police. 🙂
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