Several years ago Jeff and I needed to buy a new doormat. He found a nice simple one with the word welcome written in a curly script across the surface. “Nope.” I said. “Vampires.” He replied. You see Jeff knew that my favorite tv show was Buffy the Vampire Slayer and in that show’s universe a welcome mat was all the invitation a vampire needed to enter your home. This is why I love him. He understood that for a fan of that show getting a welcome mat would be foolish. We got a color blocked one instead and it served us well for years.
Now I know vampires aren’t real, but it is still true that I’ve never been a fan of plastering my home with the world welcome. I love to host people for dinner or have folks to stay, but welcome to me is more than a word. Recently we had a colleague stay the night for a meeting here in Portland. To get ready for his arrival I scrubbed the shower curtain and got down on hands and knees to sanitize the floors. He would probably have said it wasn’t necessary, but for me it’s not welcoming to have your guest shower with a moldy curtain or have to wonder why his feet are sticky. I didn’t think that he would think me less competent or that a little mold would affect our friendship, but it was all part of truly being welcoming. We never once said to him, you are welcome here, but we did prepare so that he would feel welcome.
Like many things it is easy to say welcome. It is so easy to buy the mat and the seasonally appropriate signs that proclaim welcome. To be welcoming is not the same thing as saying welcome. It’s not just about cleaning, but the little things. In our home we’ve tried to make the downstairs welcoming to our faith community, so we don’t have personal photos in the space where we worship. We want the folks of this community to feel like this is their space, not our family space that they are using. It’s a subtle difference, but one that I think really matters. We have separate dishes not because we don’t like to share our things, but so that the community feels more ownership around dinner.
If our home wasn’t welcoming our faith community would quickly die. We might not have the mat out front but I hope the space and life we have created shout that welcome to all (well, except for vampires).
-Eilidh
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