This past week has been an anxious one. I’m not sure if it was the gas company inspector telling us he thought we were lucky to have survived the winter due to the unsafe condition of our furnace or the 7 hours I spent navigating our taxes, but I was having a tough time. So I tried to fix it. I took long hot baths and then felt anxious about not spending time with my family. I ate chocolate and then felt anxious about my health. I prayed and then felt anxious that my prayers were sucky. I felt anxious about a news story on a college student making ricin in his dorm room so I researched if that was possible to only end up down an internet wormhole involving the anal scent glands of beavers and the cyanide content of almonds. I am now anxious about what the NSA thinks of me. I slept and walked and tried all the usual things that help me cope with my brand of crazy. Then my dear friend reminded me of my coloring book. I had bought it when dad got sick as a way to relax. It’s all graphic bird prints, ready for a little brightening up from my trusty set of colored pencils. So the child and I spent part of Saturday coloring together. While it helped me a bit what was really great was having a friend who could remind me of this and who is my friend no matter how stressed I may be or how wacky my internet searches become.
We all have our stuff and hopefully we have each developed ways of dealing that make life sustainable or at least survivable. From time to time we need other people who know us and who are on our side to remind us of who we are and the ways that we can keep on going. This is why we do what we do here in Sellwood. I firmly believe that we need each other and that people need to belong to something that is greater than themselves. I know that my life is richer due to my faith in God, but I’m not working as a new start planter solely because of my faith in God alone. It’s God made manifest in community that matters most in this work. People can have their personal faith and practice, but what I have learned over and over again is that I really need a community of others to shape my faith and to challenge me to grow. Some of these people I share my faith life with are committed Christians while others are exploring their faith. All of them are important parts of my circle who shore me up when I need it or teach me about God by their own examples. I once heard someone say that we need to practice our faith in community as a sort of a check on our own egos and wild ideas. Left up to us, God becomes more and more a reflection of our selfish desires and ways of thinking. Being with others allows us to see a little more of the fullness of God and it prevents us from wandering too far off the track in living our lives as people of God.
My life is rich and vibrant, colorful and fun, anxiety filled and lonely, difficult and busy. I find my life is best when I color inside the lines of a community. That is when the messiness of life can become a recognizable image of God.
-Eilidh
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| Flamingo by Charlie Harper with color from P & E |
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